Pretty Can't Hide Sketchy

Don't judge a book by its cover. Pretty is as pretty does. So quiet you could hear a pin drop. Crystal chandeliers don't hide the fact that it is a McDonald's in Scaryville. I think that last sentence will soon become a cliche as well used as the first three. Well...it would if everyone were eating at the McDonald's downtown Victoria on the corner of Douglas and View anyway.
The alarm went off this morning and I stretched, rolled over and cried myself back to sleep at the thought of facing another day of this:
-Eat your breakfast! You can't have school on an empty stomach!
-Stop laying on the floor and pick up your pajama's.
-You know this is a classroom now, so get it cleaned up!
-No, you cannot bring three stuffies to school with you!
-Swallow! Swallow now! If you puke up that pill again....
-Quit looking at yourself in the window!
-No it is not recess!
After several minutes of rocking and moaning, we decided to be naughty and skip school today. I feel good about that decision.
We set out en famile to downtown Victoria, that quaint hubbub of history, buskers, and the like. We went there yesterday as well but when we got to the museum they said they were closing in an hour and we decided to go to the Wax Museum and save the Royal British Columbia Museum for another day. Today was that day! (Have to mention that the wax museum is CREEPY and I wish I had followed my gut and went shopping or sat with the buskers and pretended to have a talent instead of going there!)
We LOVE the RBCM! I am not a huge fan of museums. My moto is if you've seen some old crap you've seen it all. Not so at these digs though! WOW! There is a place there that if you stand in the middle it sounds like you are speaking into a microphone but the people close to you can't hear you! Also, you can hear a whisper from across the room! Now this got me to thinking, if I can hear Michael whispering that clearly from here, I wonder if we could hear a pin drop? I was fresh out of pins, so I of course took the next logical step. I removed my diamond stud that my Dad gave me from my earlobe, gathered the fam around and dropped the earring on the floor. Museums are dark. Have you ever noticed that? Not only did we not hear the earring drop, we lost the aforementioned earring. So there we were, among the deer and grizzly bears crawling around using our cell phones as flashlights looking for my earring! Fear not, it was eventually found, but that museum carpet really does hide everything and if you have toddlers you might want to look into putting it in wall to wall!
After exploring for what seemed like moments and was in fact 3.5 hours, we decided to go for a snack. The museum shop was hideously expensive so we hit the streets. Yesterday Abby, Matt and I walked past a neat little shop called Roger's Chocolates where they have a retro soda bar complete with servers with the little hats and a twirly straw dispenser so I thought we should go there. I soon thought differently when we popped in and saw that it would cost $40 for the 5 of us to have a milkshake.
Now, on our first day in Victoria we did some driving around. On our travels we saw the fanciest McChoke and Puke's we have ever seen. There is a 12 foot chandelier in the lobby (that's right...LOBBY!) There are several more crystal chandeliers throughout the restaurant. So when the parental veto of the soda shoppe came down it was followed by cries of "Fancy McDonald's! Fancy McDonald's!" and off we went! We decided to walk down Douglas for a change of scenery. We got one! There were all sorts of weird costumes including one girl whom I can only assume was going for a Christmas Village Staff interview as she was wearing a white fur lined red cape and red and white striped thigh high stockings with her ankle boots. We smelled the smells including lovely restaurants and some odd sweet smoke. At the sight of the odd sweet smoke we overheard the man with his cap in hand putting his order in for some weed in about half an hour once he had enough money. That reinforced our decision to never give out money, only meals. We hiked for what seemed like miles to finally get to "Fancy McDonald's". Once we arrived, the tables were filthy, the fries were cold, the nuggets were cold, the waiters were rude, and there were pickles stuck to the fancy art they had hung on the walls. Groups of what our Saskatchewan trained eyes immediately picked out as gangs inundated the space without ordering and got very loud. They were not speaking English so I have nothing to report, but it did sound menacing. They were asked to leave. We huddled in our little corner not wanting to let our eyes wander or any unclothed portion of our body touch any surfaces. When we felt somewhat safe enough to leave we huddled into a pack and shuffled to the back of the restaurant to relieve our nervous bladders and Abby and I had the treat of listening to the woman in the next stall strip down and shoot up while her cart waited outside.
Back at the Museum we took in a Charlie Chaplain flick. The tiny theatre was cute with a fake little ticket booth. It is a good thing they only charge five cents to see his flicks because they are really quite boring! The kids were very concerned about why the sound in the theatre was not working. Ahh the innocence of our Disney fed children! Apparently when you go to a silent movie you are supposed to remain silent as well. Michael did not think that the folks around us much enjoyed my narration of the film. I choose to think that they were craning around to catch a glimpse of the starlet that the witty monologue was issuing forth from and that they simply all had to use the facilities in tandem.
In conclusion:
-Keep your earrings in.
-Control your longings for the fancy things in life.
-Swallow your pills.
-Apply early for Christmas work.
-Keep your mouth shut at silent films.
-Give meals not money.
-Skip School.
-Pretty Can't Hide Sketchy.